Different by Design

by Mrs. Crystal Paine

Silence. Dead silence. Not even a click. I pumped the accelerator, checked to make sure the car was in park, and turned the key again. Nothing.

This was the second time in two weeks my car had refused to start. Last time, though, I was at home, and my husband was able to jumpstart the car. Soon it was back in working condition again. This time, my husband was 20 minutes away at school. To make matters worse, he was without transportation. (Our other vehicle needed some repair, so I had dropped him off at school that morning.)

I had been helping a mother of five all day and was ready to get home. Here I was stranded, with nothing to do but troop back up to their door and ask this woman if she knew how to jump a car. She was just as “in the dark” as I was about it. The only thing we knew was somehow you were to hook jumper cables from one car to the other!

Laurie called her husband, and he gave her a detailed description of the steps we were to take. Positive to positive, negative to negative. Pretty simple, we thought, not much room for error.

We soon found out it was easier said than done. Believe it or not, neither of us had ever even lifted the hood of our vehicles. After figuring that out, we had to find the batteries. Thankfully, batteries have “positive” and “negative” signs on them or we may have never known!

The cables were hooked up, and she started her car. We waited. My car refused to start. We waited again. Still nothing. And again. Nothing. We finally decided it was useless.

A few hours later, Laurie’s husband arrived home and hooked up the cables again. Guess what? Within a minute, he had my car running. The reason we could not get my car jumped was because we had not lifted the rubber cap from one of the metal battery posts. Neither of our husbands could believe we didn’t think of that. To them it was obvious; you always put “metal to metal.”

Why am I sharing this story with you? Not because I wanted to confess how utterly ignorant I am when it comes to car repair and maintenance. The reason I share this with you is because I learned much more than how to jump a car through this experience. It served as a poignant reminder to me that men and women were created different by design. (Now, obviously, there are lots of women who know how to jump start a car--but there are many other ways we can see that God has made men and women better at certain tasks especially suited for them!)

These differences are beautifully illustrated all throughout Scripture. In Genesis, the foundational principles of the roles of men and women are laid out. Have you ever just sat and meditated on the implications of the verse, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18)? We were created to be the completer of man, not the competitor. Our job is to further the ministry of the husband God has given us.

Through my dead battery incident, I was reminded how men are programmed so differently than women. Things that are obvious to them (such as “metal to metal”), are often things that a lot of women would not think of. On the other hand, things that are obvious to a woman (such as a child who needs assistance), may not readily cross a man’s mind. Why? Because God has designed each to complement the other (See 1 Corinthians 11:8-12).

When we recognize these God-ordained differences and live accordingly, there is great blessing! I am so thankful to have a husband who leads our family, lovingly cares for me, and provides for the needs of our home. I would not get along very well on my own (especially if my car broke down!). But the same is true for him. He needs me to do my job of cooking, cleaning, keeping the house, and meeting his needs so that he can fulfill his responsibilities.

Let us rejoice and thank God for making us different by design.



Crystal Paine is a 24-year-old homeschool graduate from Topeka, Kansas. She is the blessed wife of Jesse and joyful mother of Kathrynne. Visit her site, Biblical Womanhood, for books, articles, encouragement, and inspiration!